Nearly every day I am thrown into the center of the Colosseum floor and left to fight the hungry lions without a weapon or armor. Some times I win, but more often than not, I lose. And, I am given no time to heal between battles. The lions pounce on me like wounded prey. Many of my fellow gladiators are strong with experience and enjoy the battles. I do not!
I am a casino dealer. Scratch that. I earn a weekly paycheck as a casino dealer.
Although I try to think positive, I am not calloused to the insensitivity, the ingratitude, and I find it hard to tolerate peoples’ vices: gambling, drinking, smoking, and swearing. I see the worst in people. People swear at me. Very rarely will I hear a “Please” and “Thank You.” I take peoples’ paychecks. I’ve seen mothers make phone calls to have someone else pick up their child from school, so they can “get their money back.” There is no glamour, there is no excitement, there is no fun. At least not for me.
The work I do, the environment I work in, is not in any way, shape, or form, conducive to who I am as a person. Everyday I struggle to keep my emotions in check. I get angry when I give someone $3000 in 3 spins of a Roulette wheel and they can’t throw me a $1 for a tip. I get tired of seeing the same customers who have anger management issues coming to play on my table. I am unemotional at work. I don’t get happy when players win. And I don’t care when they lose. I do the things I have been “trained” to do in terms of providing customer service. It’s just common sense anyway. But, I am not “me.”
Yes, I am very thankful to have a job. I earn a decent wage and I have health insurance. I realize there are a lot of people who would gladly be in my shoes. I know this. I understand it. However, it doesn’t mean I have to like my job. Yes, I have the option to quit and find something more gratifying. I’ve done that before, in a different profession and that was not a smart decision. Although, I did learn from the experience.
We all have passions. We all have things we would rather be doing. Why don’t we do them? Why don’t we take risks and at least attempt to fulfill our dreams. Why do we tolerate uncomfortable situations. So, think about it. Do something to entertain a passion. Roll the dice! Let me know how it goes. Please just don’t swear at me :)